The news broke this morning that the now late Wales football manager, Gary Speed, has been found dead at his home after apparently taking his own life at the young age of 42.Shock has of course swept through the footballing world. Speed played over 500 premier league games, won 85 caps for his country, and after less than a year retired as a player was appointed manager of Wales.
Of course death is a horrific aspect of life, and all deaths deserve to be acknowledged and mourned accordingly. Speed's death will be mourned across Wales, the UK, and worldwide. Rightfully so, to an extent.
Speed has left behind a wife and two children. Is it right to have sympathy for an individual who has taken their own life? It is those still here who must deal with the consequences. Not that I know the exact circumstances of his life, but suicide in my opinion is often an easy way out, in some ways a selfish way out. Are we right to wear black arm bands and honor a minutes silence for someone who commits suicide, but then brush over the countless individuals who die saving others? I don't know.
I don't discredit what Speed did as a footballer, and through the countless character references I have heard so far this morning he was obviously a top man. But if the reports are true, he made a decision, a decision to take his own life. He was a healthy young man with a family and most likely the job of his dreams. There are people in the world with a lot less going for them who struggle but still fight for a better life.
I'd be really interested to hear what you think?
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he played a "fast" one! .. i dnt sympathise cos he took his own life!!!
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. Specially 4th and 5th paragraphs; I´d encourage you to write another one with from a more subjective perspective...
ReplyDeleteInteresting article, but it demonstrates a profound and fairly irresponsible misunderstanding of mental illness.
ReplyDeleteMy comment wasn't so much a criticism of your education as it was a criticism the general public perception of depression, which is that it is something people can simply snap out of.
ReplyDeleteThe idea that suicide is an 'easy way out' is profoundly misguided. Yes, of course there are people far less fortunate than Speed who struggle through life but, firstly, all things are relative and, secondly, depression is an illness with physical and psychological symptoms and causes. It isn't a state of mind. It isn't the result of a bad day at the office or a week or two of bad moods. It can be an all-consuming black hole that offers no hope of relief and seems to present the sufferer with no solutions or escape routes.
Now obviously there are people in the world who have maybe contributed more to society in a moral sense, but Speed was a footballer so the footballing world honours him. When a prominent scientist dies, the scientific world honours him. The same with most other professions and cultures.
It could well have been true that Gary Speed was a weak, selfish man who took the easy route out of his trivial problems, but this seems unlikely.
More importantly, though, this sort of attitude will do more harm than good in combating a problem which now kills more British 16-26 year olds than illness or road accidents.
And your argument also seems paradoxical. You yourself comment that he was "obviously a top man", that he was healthy, had a family, and the job of his dreams, and then you suggest he took the 'easy way out'.
ReplyDeleteSurely the fact that someone so conspicuously fortunate (in a material, personal and professional sense) would take their own life demonstrates the debilitating effects of mental illness?
If a 50 year old heroin addict with £50,000 of debt, a dead-end job, kids who don't want to see him and no friends or family killed himself, then that would be the 'easy way out'.
I'm confused as to how this applies to Gary Speed, though.
It is sad that Gary Speed died. I was shocked to hear the news. So early and he had a stable job for himself. I look at someone taking their own life in some aspects selfish, but it shouldn't always be seen that way. It is more of the question 'What lead to him doing what he did?'. Many people you or me know are troubled and have a lot of things bottled up, they keep quiet nobody knows what's going on. It is only until they are gone people start to realise 'omgosh maybe/it was because of that'.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your comment about 'taking the easy way out' I accept that the comment is a massive generalisation towards suicide. Of course there were most likely several contributing factors that pushed him over the edge and made him do what he did.
ReplyDeleteI aslo accept that the 50 year old heroin addict with £50K of debt who commits suicide more obviously and blatantly 'take the easy way out'. But do you not think Speed, who must have had some form of depression, but who also had much to fight for, leading his countries football team, being a husband to his wife and a father to his children. With all that going for him, do you not think that taking his life was a selfish decision?
Thanks for your comments. Very much appreciated.
I understand your blog, but I think your thoughts pre-suppose that an individual has taken a rational decision to commit suicide rather than face up to situation in their life, leaving others to pick up the pieces.
ReplyDeleteI do challenge this as depression is not compatible with rational thinking and decision making on this scale. The desperation he must have felt in taking this decision must have been all-consuming and overwhelming over all of the supposed advantages and priviledges he may have had in his life.
No, because you're rationalising this decision as though he made a little list of pro's and con's, and it needs to be recognised that this just isn't how depression works. By its very nature, it is often completely IRrational.
ReplyDeleteThere's a very important distinction to be drawn here, and the general public representation of depression generally fails to draw it. That distinction is between depression and 'being a bit unhappy'.
If Gary Speed had been a bit unhappy then yes - he'd be able to rationalise his state of mind, and take comfort in his job, his past career, his plethora of friends and fans, his family and his not inconsiderable wealth.
But Gary Speed probably wasn't just a bit unhappy. It seems extremely likely that he was acutely depressed and that he was suffering from a very real mental illness. Depression is a total blackout and there is little or no capacity for perspective or logic. The symptoms are not something you can shake off or snap out of. We're dealing with a range of conditions that inflict upon the sufferer a complete sense of hopelessness, helplessness and loneliness. Of course your bank balance or your loving family can help stave off this illness, but very often they're not enough to rescue what can seem (however unreasonably) like a completely hopeless and irretrievably situation with only one escape route.
To the post at 14:44 - absolutely correct.
ReplyDeleteYes you are absolutely correct. Depression is a terrible illness that affects many people different capacities. But people do overcome depression. It is not a death sentence. I know it is a simplistic way to look at the situation but when contemplating taking his life he most certainly would have thought about the affect it would have on his loved ones. Leaving a wife without a husband and 2 children without a father. That is a choice. There is no arguing that. He chose to leave them end of story. Yes maybe he was in a terrible mental state and felt as though his life wasn't worth living, but he obviously disregarded his influence on those who he has left behind.
ReplyDeleteso what would be so terrible that it would be impossible to continue living? It is normally sex, power or money, and he had loads of cash, a good amount of power, so for me the only issue left would be sex. Either his wife was having a relationship outside of his marriage or he lived a double life. It is a sad loss, life can be very cruel, there is so much pressure to pretend of be people that we are not, maybe Gary Speed was not Gary Speed after all.
ReplyDeletei don't get how people can be carrying on like this is a tragedy!! a man got what he wanted here!! which was to be dead!!
ReplyDeletesome people might not understand the appeals of death, but i for one, respect the decisions of a man to take is own life!! death is but one of the myriad of splendours that God has gifted to the universe. everything that has existed has died!
...and before people start going on about his family... every decision we make affects something or one else in a "good" or "bad" way. sometimes we have to be a lil' selfish to get what we want in life... :)
no sympathy for the dead!!