What is it about
strangers that makes us
shiver with fear?
Last night I attended a market research focus group. The 8 of us were sat in a waiting room for
at least 15 minutes before we were required to go in. During that time
not a single word was said from anyone -
not one. I sat there in
disbelief - considering we were about to discuss our worldly views on shower gel together for the next 2 hours
you'd think one of us could muster a few words - "Hi I'm Chris, how you doing?" - I don't mean small talk by the way (that is a pet hate of mine which I will blog about some time in the future) - just general chit chat.
This is just one example however - the situation that has caused me to expend the most energy locked in though is
a situation that we have all found ourselves in... You walk onto a train or a bus with quite a few people on and
most of the seats are occupied - but then
you spot a free set of 2 seats in isolation -
you go for it! It doesn't matter if the seats are right at the end of the carriage or isle,
we will walk all the way down just to have
seats to ourselves instead of sitting next to someone right in front of us
. Why? What are we so
afraid of? People even
get up and move from sitting next to someone when a seat on it's own becomes available! Why does it make people so
uncomfortable to sit next to a stranger. We do the same things when we sit on benches (among other things),
sitting as far away from any other people sitting on the same bench.
Surely the sole reason cannot be because you want more
space to stretch your legs? I can understand why people would
not always be in the mood to strike up a conversation with a randomer too - you might be
stressed and tired for example. But since when did we become a race of people that would
go out of our way to avoid having to sit next to another human being? Wouldn't
the world be a better place if it was considered normal to strike up a conversation with a stranger? I have actually had some
extremely interesting and rewarding conversations on trains and the like - I once spoke with 4 men from Newcastle on their way to a Rugby League cup final in London for the duration of
a 4 hour train journey - we
shared stories, have a
laugh, and it certainly made the
time pass quicker.
It is as though
we all have some degree of social anxiety disorder - some innate fear of certain social situations - that we are unable to feel at ease unless we are surrounded by people are familiar with.
I am not claiming that I start up a conversation every time I catch the bus, or that I am the guy who sits next to the only other person on an otherwise empty train - I often behave in the exact way that I have criticised.
My issue is WHY. Why we do all do these things.
What do
you think?
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